a method to creating epic dates and lasting memories: for married men and their wives | pennsylvania wedding photographer

photo courtesy of  vintage warehouse

WHY CONTINUE TO DATE AFTER MARRIAGE?

“always continuously date, no matter how long you have been together.”  this, statement i learned from my parents who have been married since 1967, when my mother was 17 years old and they are still married to date.

STAY AWAY FROM TRADITIONAL DATES

we all know why men should date when they are single; however as a married individual you should continue to date because it creates a space in your wife’s mind that she is still a desirable being. as well as the outings should be entitled: "dates," especially when you are married.  again this reinforces the notion to make your wife feel continuously wanted.  one of most important things you can do is stay away from traditional dates for the most part i.e. dinner and a movie because of the routineness of it all.  sometimes you will want to go to see movies and eat together but these should not be called dates, they should be casual. but if you do need to make a date out of a movie and dinner, then have an experience….

a friend of mine told me that he and his girlfriend at the time went to matinee with a twist. they snuck chinese food: tea, soup, wontons, and fried rice into the theater and had a meal during the movie.  naturally they were a bit crass but to this day he told me that she never forgot that date.

BE DIFFERENT

this method requires a few internal qualities: bravery, adventurousness, spontaneity, the ability to have fun, the ability to converse, and also plan. here is an alternative to simply going to a movie and dinner: see a foreign, black and white, or silent film; and if you must do dinner, have an exotic meal. the main point is to always do something different than traditional dates (movies and dinner).

so you can’t find something “different, ” try browsing, what i like call the artistic journals and the hippie newspapers.  in new york city that would be “the village voice.” those journals are jam packed with fresh ideas.  let’s assume none of you ever went salsa dancing and both of you are non-hispanic. if you decide to go salsa dancing, knowing that both of you can’t dance is adventurous and could only end in a good time.   

DATES AT HOME

by contrast dates can be carried out at home, for dates at home there are three main keys: creativity, dress up for the occasion, and set the mood.   let’s revisit the salsa example, you can decorate a room, dress as if you are going to a salsa club, cook or order out a spanish meal,  play salsa music, and dance. 

photo courtesy of wikipedia

SURPRISE HER

she should never know what you are planning, doing, or where you are going to, until she gets there.  you don’t have to hide, nor does it matter if she knows your tactics as outlined in this blog. this means she can see you putting the date together but there should always be an element of surprise, excitement, and anticipation, these are precepts to creating lasting memories.  the natural question is: what happens if we get to a place and she really doesn’t like it and you weren’t aware of it, prior?  take for example: so you take her to apple picking and she is allergic to apples.  here is what you do….

you must always have a plan A, B, C, and D and here is where spontaneity comes in.  never just go one place, if your main date is salsa night at a club, you must be able to scout the location prior to see what else is in close proximity.  so after or before salsa,  you stop at the local store, buy “hispanic imported drinks,” sit outside, or  take a stroll, and chat.  then stop for an impromptu session at an art store, or gallery talk about your favorite painting, purchase grapes from a vendor at the side at the street, or dance with her to the song you hear in the street.  with this method and key internal qualities listed, you will never run out of ideas. be brave, be adventurous, be creative, and think outside the box.

Happy Wife, Happy Life!